THE BEADS AROUND MY WAIST

I fell and faltered,
and they fled my side.
I accepted the bitter, biting destiny
that we had outgrown each other -
family and I.
in solemn, solitary silences I watched wisps of clouds
scatter, and the clear, blue sky stand firmly behind the sun;
I marveled when dusk fanned the smoldering coals in
the horizon and darkness planted itself in the path of the sun:
I came up with you.
…birds in giddy colors flew with wild abandon and trees swayed
carelessly with a new air of sureness – I was told
that fulfilling your plan meant to desist from my own plan for myself.
it was then no wonder that they fled my side
when you entered my life, and I outgrew their name.
visibly, the loves in which I was invested because of blood were not
aligned with your will. and so they quickly unraveled
under the touch of your mighty breath.
when I saw that tiny, garish tanager flap its wings and take to a rough and awkward flight, almost tumbling,
I knew that I would not spend all my life crying behind a painted face.
And so I write this poem now, watching the smiling sun
part the clouds and break the unsuspecting dawn,
commanding the earth to rouse, to do, to pray. I scribble this now,
and give a calming thought to how the gracious light you proclaim remains,
and blinds me to all evil for it daily gives me the heady, hopeful thought
of time without a season…
…of a seamless love that leaps and jumps
beyond blood and last names, beyond the tarnished beads
around my waist, above beginnings and endings.